Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
