I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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