She announced her abortion via fbk
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
