So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
