That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
