Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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