Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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