just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
