You can't special order awesome
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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