So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
