I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
