I accidentally had phone sex last night
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
