OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Sorry about my life...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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