do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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