I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
