You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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