cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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