Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
