BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
