can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
