2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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