cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
