Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We're hate flirting, damnit.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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