my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
