She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
