Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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