It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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