I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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