hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
