i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
