Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
