Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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