My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
