Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
