Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
