Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
