i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
