I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
are you so shy because you have an std?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
