Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
