DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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