So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There's always time for handjobs
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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