So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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