I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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