Plan B is the new Plan A
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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