i just google imaged poop.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
