cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
