I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
