i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
