Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
