Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
wow bdsm is so cute
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
