I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
