When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
