I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
