Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
