I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
