She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
