awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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