I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
